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I suppose you know what a disclaimer is. A disclaimer is for annoying people who think you are the actual person described in the site and are obsessed with you and want to meet you. Sometimes they just think you know that person. So a disclaimer is usually a boring piece of writing to tell people off and possibly even to sue them somehow if they have annoyed you even after reading the disclaimer.
Sometimes, people who have sites are too busy to sit and write a silly disclaimer, and they have to pay others to do it. Fortunately, I already have a Site Secretary, Janet, who is, by the way, a very good cook (oh yes, and typist I suppose), and to whom I shall dictate part of the disclaimer (which is two pages long), while Janet writes the other part. Therefore, I leave you to enjoy our disclaimer.
Sincerely,
The Wizard
- Firstly, I should like to make clear that I am not JRR Tolkien, nor have I met him (the main problem being that he is dead), as much as I would like to, and maybe congratulate him, and have a little walk with him.
- Next, I want to make it clear that I am not any of the actors who starr in the movie, nor do I know them (I have, however, seen the movie four times).
- Now, I am not Frodo, and I do not know him, as much as I would like to tell him how brave he is (which makes him rather handsome, too), and oh please stay away from giant spiders.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Gandalf, as much as I would like to punish him sometimes for being as mean as he is to Pippin.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Aragorn, as much as I would like to make him stay put on the ground for a minute instead of him running off all the time and saving others.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Legolas, as much as I would like to marry him and have him compose and sing a Sindarin sonnet to me, even if this means having to tie his legs up.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Pippin, as much as I would like playing hide-and-seek with him.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Sam, as much as I would like to bloat him with lembas, or maybe even tortilla, since he has no idea what spanish food is like, poor soul.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Boromir, as much as I would like to make him stop blowing that blasted horn, and as much as I would like to sniff whenever his modest quote of being the best and most loyal soldier there is came about from his own lips.
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