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- I do not know and therefore I am not Gimli, as much as I would like to calm him down a bit and stop making bets with Legolas about cutting people's heads off.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Merry, as much as I would like to give him all the pipe tobacco I own, which is actually not that much.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Galadriel, and I must admit I don't wish to...she scares me to death. On the other hand, if she knows so much about the future, she could just maybe tell me who Leonardo DiCaprio will marry...hopefully no one.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Arwen, as much as I would like to have her tuck me into bed and give me a good-night's kiss.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Bilbo, as much as I would like to scold him severely for having lent such a horrible piece of jewelry to his very own nephew.
- I do not know and therefore I am not Saruman, as much as I would like cracking his stupid glass ball over his head.
- I do not know and therefore I am not (thank goodness) Gollum, or Sméagol or whateve he'd like to have himself called, as much as I would like to drown him-or maybe just give him a severe punishment. (My precious indeed, the scoundrel!)
- I do not know and therefore I am not Éowyn, as much as I would like to shake her and have her leave Aragorn alone.
- I do not know and therefore I am not any of the nine Black Riders (Nâzgul, or Nazgûl or whatever), as much as I would like to burn them all alive.
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